Notes from the Decline: Quietly quitting on the street where it's not “Safe to Deliver”
A bitter field dispatch from the slippery hillside where labor climbs, billionaires hide, and laminated paranoia tries to pass for hospitality.
Meet the Silicon Valley Suburb’s Delusional Billionnaire
In my neck of the woods there’s this juxtaposition of some signage which goes something like this “I will shoot you!” ‘However, if you are Amazon delivery guy please hike up the steep 200 yard driveway to ‘my 6 bedroom stock-option bought home and deliver my rainbow colored kettle bells….’ yeah I live in THAT neighborhood - and now you know why I have deep suspicion of the crassly wealthy and so should you.
Imagine arriving with your large Amazon truck, having started early that morning for your round and looking up to see not only the steep driveway but two signs. In your hands is a box of very heavy nonsense to deliver to someone who thinks the American working class is a threat to his curated reality.
At the bottom of the steep driveway?
These. Two. Signs.
“THE OWNER OF THIS PROPERTY IS ARMED. There is nothing inside worth risking your life for.”
And right beside it:
“AMAZON DRIVERS: It is SAFE to deliver to front door. DO NOT leave packages on wall or driveway.”
Ah yes. Safe.
Because nothing says “you’re respected” like a veiled threat posted to a stone wall while you carry three pounds of dog supplements for a man who gets nervous if he hears Spanish.
Why the fuck would you walk up the driveway? Rich people suck with their entitled threats with an entitled after-thought. These people don’t like you, they don’t respect you and if you listen carefully… (it’s not the squeak of the tank you will hear) but their fear of ‘guillotine day.’
Meet the Silicon Valley Suburb’s Final Boss
Somewhere in this neighborhood is a man who wears a weighted vest, army green everything, and a ponytail made of trauma and unexamined podcasts.
He once tried to kick my dog.
My dog, who was just existing.
Kind of like workers trying to unionize.
Just… existing.
And that’s the threat.
Let’s Do the Financial Math
Average Amazon delivery driver: ~$50k/year
Billionaire homeowner’s net worth: Probably 11 digits, several bunkers, and a Doomsday NFT
Bezos in his prime (financially, not morally): ~$152,000/minute
Time it takes him to earn your yearly salary: 20 seconds
Time it takes you to be replaced by a drone or an app update? Also 20 seconds.
And Amazon?
They spend millions fighting unions.
Millions they could’ve spent on decent wages, actual breaks, or a toilet that isn’t shame-based.
Instead?
They install AI surveillance in your van.
They run anti-union ads inside the warehouse.
They track your footsteps like you're a risk, not a human.
Why?
Because organized labor is a bigger threat to billionaires than any porch pirate could ever be.
But Here’s the Real Horror
These signs—the “you might die here” sign and the “you may enter if you behave” sign—are the new American welcome mat.
They’re not about safety.
They’re about control.
Control over labor. Control over space. Control over the narrative.
“We are afraid. But we are armed. So behave.”
This is how capitalist monsters dress themselves in fear and Amazon branding.
It’s why a billionaire thinks he’s the underdog.
It’s why a ponytailed civilian patrols his HOA like he’s guarding the gates of Rome.
Here’s Your Fucking Truth:
If you're carrying packages, delivering food, cleaning their houses, raising their children, or making their lives possible while they threaten you with laminated signs?
You are not safe.
You are a participant in someone else’s delusion.
And that delusion is armed.
So what do we do?
We organize.
We write.
We unionize so hard their bunkers shake.
We build solidarity not just to fight back, but to remind each other:
You are not crazy.
You are not disposable.
And you are not alone.
The Kraken of capitalism isn’t invincible.
It just screams louder when it's scared.
So keep walking.
Keep writing.
Keep naming what they’re afraid of:
A worker who knows their worth.
A story that doesn’t blink.
And a dog that won’t heel to fear.